Bulletproof
by cherrycokerocks
Summary: When undercover protection officer Amy Dumas get lumbered with the assignment she has no idea her whole world is going to get turned upside down. Lita/Punk, Maria/Jeff, Trish/Chris, Randy Orton, Mickie James.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Bulletproof  
Author: And/Cherrycokerocks  
Disclaimer: I own nothing. All belongs to the WWE/TNA and themselves.  
Spoilers: None - AU  
Rating: PG-13 - R  
Characters/Pairing: Lita/Punk, Trish/Jericho, Maria/Jeff. Randy Orton  
Summary: When undercover protection officer Amy Dumas get lumbered with the assignment she has no idea her whole world is going to get turned upside down.  
Notes: Written for the lovely Vera (Heelprincess) for the Summer Fic Exchange at Lita Fics on LJ. Totally AU and ignoring all real life previous relationships. Any flashback will be in italics.  
Warnings: Rated R for bad language and possibly adult situations.

Los Angles, California

"Well, here we are," Amy announced as she pulled up into the driveway of the house she would be calling home for the foreseeable future.

The man sitting next to her in the passenger seat sighed heavily, "Yeah … here we are." He undid his seat belt and got out of the car, slamming the door as he did so and stomped towards the house.

Amy shook her head and removed her own belt. She pulled the keys out of the ignition and just sat in the car for a moment wondering what she let herself in for. When she agreed to take this assignment, she didn't know what she was expecting but pretending to be the wife of a moody thirty year old man who was doing a fine impression of an emo teenager wasn't it. It was understandable, his whole world had been turned upside down over a case of mistaken identity so maybe Amy couldn't blame him for acting like a bear with a sore head since the moment she met him. The raven haired woman decided she'd better join him and got out of the car.

Moments later she was standing in the living room watching her "husband" who was stretched out on the couch with his eyes closed, listening to his ipod. Deciding she wanted a drink, Amy approached him and tapped him on the arm. After Phil opened his eyes, Amy assumed he could hear her and promptly asked, "Do you want a drink?"

Phil rolled his eyes and removed one of his earphones, "What?"

"Do you want a drink?" Amy repeated, a little annoyed at his tone.

"If I had wanted a drink, I would have got one."

"Forget I asked. Next time I won't bother."

"Whatever …. Anyways, the fridge is empty. I checked."

"Are you sure? They were supposed to fill it before we got here."

Phil got up from the couch and marched into the kitchen with Amy trailing in behind him. He opened the fridge door, "Oh my mistake, I must have missed all this food." The fridge was indeed empty.

"There's no need for sarcasm. Like I said, they were supposed to fill it before we got here. Obviously, they haven't."

"No shit," Phil said as he closed the door again.

"Okay, what exactly is your problem? I'm trying to be nice here and all I'm getting from you is attitude."

The dark haired man placed his hands on his hips, "What's my problem? Where do you want me to start? I've been placed in witness protection because some asshole would be gangster thinks I'm somebody else and he's trying to kill me. My family thinks I'm dead, so do all my friends. I've been moved across the country to a place I hate by the government and oh yeah … I gotta pretend I'm married to you. I really don't know why I'm not jumping for joy. Really, I don't."

Amy sighed and decided she should cut him some slack, "Sorry, forget I said anything. I guess we should go to the store."

"Why do I have to come?"

"I'm not leaving you alone until I've checked everything out properly," Amy stated.

"I'm a big boy. I promise not to move from the couch."

"This isn't up for debate. You're coming with me, end of story."

Phil shook his head, "Okay, whatever. I'm going to the bathroom. That is allowed isn't it? Do you want to come in with me, just in case?"

The raven haired woman rolled her eyes, "I may be pretending to be your wife but I have no desire to watch you pee so you can go to the bathroom on your own."

"Glad to hear it. I'll be back in a minute."

"Take your time."

Amy returned to the living room while Phil made his way up the stairs. He'd only been missing thirty seconds or so before she heard him calling out.

"Hey, Amy?"

Amy walked to the bottom of the stairs, "What?"

"Where's the bathroom? I opened three doors and all I got were bedrooms."

"It's inside the master bedroom. Second door on the right," Amy explained. She'd only been to the house once before herself and that had been to make sure it was suitable for her requirements.

"Okay," he started to walk away, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Amy called out. "This is going to be a long six months," she muttered to herself.

Phil rejoined her five minutes later, his hands jammed into his pockets. "Okay, I'm ready to go. I mean if you're sure I can't be trusted to stay here by myself."

"You can't … Not yet anyways. It's not personal, I'm just doing my job. Come on, let's go."

"Whatever."

Thirty minutes later, they were standing Big Saver Foods. Amy was pushing the shopping cart which Phil was seemingly filling with every type of food possible. "You're not seriously going to eat all this stuff, are you?"

"Yeah, when it comes to food, I'm a big fat pig," Phil replied honestly. "And besides, I'm not picking up the bill so why not go crazy?"

"How about you try to go a little less crazy with the Mexican food?"

The dark haired man raised an eyebrow, "What's wrong with Mexican? You don't like Mexican?"

Amy shook her head, "I love Mexican. We just don't need three of everything. We can always come back and get some more later."

"But it's on offer and I just can't pass up a bargain," he replied sarcastically.

The protection officer rolled her eyes but said nothing. Instead she pushed the cart away from the Mexican food towards the soda section.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy.**

Chapter 2

After spending a little over two hundred and fifty dollars in Big Saver Foods, Amy and Phil were back in the car, heading back to the protection house the two were calling home for at least the next six months. Phil hadn't said much since he's been hauled away from the Mexican food section in the store. Although the raven haired woman hadn't missed the smirk on his face when the cashier announced the total of their spending and Amy had handed over her credit card. She was only glad that she didn't have to pay the bill.

Amy was trying to think of something she could talk to Phil about when he suddenly reached out and turned on the radio. After channel hopping for a few minutes before he settled on one that was playing Hurt by Johnny Cash.

It didn't take them long to get back to the house and Phil had jumped out of the car as soon as Amy had pulled up in the driveway. He went around to the trunk of the car and promptly started to unload the shopping. Amy joined him a few seconds later and collected a couple of brown paper bags. "I can't believe you spent two hundred and fifty dollars on all this junk."

Phil smirked, "Like I said, I'm a pig." He paused when he suddenly noticed an attractive redhead standing in the next driveway looking in their direction. He slammed the trunk shut and picked up the remaining bags, "You should know that by now, baby."

Amy was about to give him a hard time about calling her baby when she noticed the woman standing there too. "Hi."

"Hi," the redhead replied. "Did you guys just move in?"

"Pretty much yeah," Amy said. "We just went to the store to pick up a few essentials but then my husband here decided to go a little crazy."

"That's men for you. My boyfriend, Jeff is just the same. Every time he comes shopping with me, he spends a fortune. I'm Maria, by the way."

"I'm Amy and this is Phil."

"So, have you guys been married long?"

"Only two weeks," Phil piped up before Amy could say a word, "We've just got back from honeymoon. If you'll excuse me, Maria, I'm just going to take this stuff inside. It was nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, Phil." Maria watched him head towards the house. "I know you haven't even settled in yet but would you guys like to come over for dinner tonight? If you want to spend your first night in the house by yourselves alone, I totally understand."

"No, dinner would be great. That's as long as you're sure."

"Fabulous, if would want to come around say seven thirty?"

Amy smiled, "Sounds good. Do we need to bring anything?"

"No, just bring yourselves."

"We'll be there. I guess I'll see you later. Bye, Maria."

The redhead smile brightly, "Bye, Amy."

Amy headed up the driveway, wondering what Phil was going to say when she told him she'd accepted a dinner invitation for tonight. She walked inside and gently kicked the door shut. She found Phil in the kitchen putting away some of the groceries into the fridge. "Maria, seems nice."

Phil shrugged, "I guess. Did I do the right thing by talking to her? I wasn't sure."

The sarcastic tone in his voice didn't go unnoticed by the protection officer, "Everyone in this neighbourhood has been vetted so you're perfectly safe … for the time being." She placed her bags on the work surface by the fridge. "She invited us around for dinner and I accepted."

"What? Why would you do that?"

This time it was Amy who shrugged, "What was I supposed to say? No?"

"Yeah, that's exactly what you were supposed to say. Now, we gotta spend at least a couple of hours making small talk when we hardly know each other."

Amy rolled her eyes, "It will be fine. Just stick to the story and everything will be okay."

"But the story fucking sucks," Phil replied honestly. "The man in the story that's supposed to be me is nothing like me."

Amy rolled her eyes, "That's the whole point, idiot."

Phil grinned, "Did you just call me an idiot?"

"Yeah, you are an idiot."

"Nice. You're supposed to be my wife."

In an act for pure immaturity, Amy stuck out her tongue, "Doesn't mean I can't call you an idiot. If the cap fits and all that."

"Whatever."

Amy placed her hands on her hips, "Is whatever, like your favourite word?"

"Why, yes, it is."

The raven haired woman found herself smiling despite his use of yet more sarcasm, "Whatever."

With his back towards her, a small smile made his way onto Phil's face as he went back to his task of putting away the items into the fridge.

Some twenty minutes later when everything had been unpacked Phil had headed upstairs to take a shower leaving Amy alone. She walked into the living room and pulled out her cell phone from her jeans pocket. She dialled a number from memory and waited for the line to be picked up, "Hey, it's me."

"Officer Dumas?" the voice replied.

"Who else?"

"I wasn't expecting you to call so soon. Don't tell me you've had enough of him already?"

Amy rolled her eyes even though the person on the other end of the phone couldn't see her, "I'd have enough of him before we even boarded the plane. He's so sarcastic I just want to slap him."

"Poor baby."

"Don't you start on me too, Randy. You're supposed to be on my side."

"I am on your side, Ames. You know I was just messing with you. So seriously, how's it going? So far, so good?"

"Yeah, I guess. It's gonna be a long six months though," Amy replied totally unaware that Phil was standing at the bottom of the stairs, listening to every word.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.**

Chapter 3

It was several hours later and Amy was still unaware that Phil had been listening to her earlier conversation with her co-worker Randy Orton. She was now waiting for him to come downstairs. He had gone off to change his clothes so fifteen minutes ago and the raven haired woman hadn't heard a peep out of him since. Deciding, they needed to get going or they were going to be late even though they were just heading next door, Amy hated being late. It was a pet peeve of hers. She ventured upstairs into the master bedroom. She opened the closed door, only to find Phil standing there in just a pair of boxer shorts. "I can't believe you're not dressed yet. You've been up here for ages."

Phil just rolled his eyes, "I can't decide what to wear. Do you think Maria would mind if I turn up like this?"

Amy shrugged, "I don't know about Maria, but I'm sure her boyfriend might have something to say about it."

"You spoil all my fun."

"Somebody has to. Honestly, please just hurry up. We're gonna be late."

"We're going next door, who cares if we're a few minutes late."

Amy sighed heavily, "I care. I like to be punctual."

Phil scratched the back of his head, "Doesn't really bother me but if it's so important to you. Go right ahead and I'll meet you there."

"I don't think so, buddy. Now put some clothes on, already."

"But I can't decide what to wear. Decisions … Decisions."

The raven haired woman's patience was starting to wear thin so she stepped forward fully into the room and stopped in front of his closest. She picked out a pair of baggy fitting jeans and a black tee shirt, "There ya go. Wear these."

Phil raised an eyebrow, "You're dressing me now? Is that part of your assignment?"

"No but if I didn't do something, you'd still be standing there in another twenty minutes … And you're totally doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

The dark haired man smirked, "You only just figured that out? You were a little slow there, Amy."

"Jerk. Just put the clothes on and let's go. The sooner we go, the sooner we can come home and don't forget to stick to the story. No making stuff up as you go along either," Amy told him.

"I already told you that the story sucks. I have a terrible memory, I can't promise that I'll remember the story," Phil admitted honestly as he finally started to put on the clothes that Amy had picked out for him.

"In that case, just don't say anything."

Phil pulled the shirt on over his head, "So if I can't remember the right answer, I just sit there and say nothing?"

Amy nodded, "Pretty much, yeah."

Phil laughed, "That's not gonna work."

The protection officer smiled. "Well, let's just hope you don't forget anything for both our sakes."

"That's it … My life officially fucking sucks."

Amy refrained from commenting as the two left the bedroom and headed towards the front door. Within a couple of minutes they were standing outside Maria's door. Amy rang the bell and waited for an answer. She couldn't help but jump a little when she felt Phil's arm snake around her waist pulling her closer to him.

With that, the door opened and Maria was standing there, "Hi guys, come on in." Amy and Phil followed the red head inside. "You'll have to excuse the mess. Jeff is an artist, he was painting in the living room earlier and hasn't finished cleaning up yet. Actually, he hasn't even started yet." Maria rolled her eyes, "Men."

Amy laughed, "I know exactly what you're talking about. Phil is very messy."

"And yet, you still love me. How did I ever get so lucky?"

Amy shot him a death glare but said nothing as Maria led them into the dining room where Jeff was waiting.

"Guys, this is my boyfriend Jeff Hardy. Jeff, this is our new neighbours, Amy and Phil."

Jeff smiled, "Hey, how's it going?"

"Great," Amy lied. "Things couldn't be better."

"Good to hear. Maria told me that you've only been married a couple of weeks, it would kind of suck if things were bad already."

Phil laughed, "I like you already, dude."

"Ignore him. Jeff has no filter between his brain and his mouth. If he thinks it, he says it. It's just his way."

"That's cool with me. I'm just the same, aren't I baby?" He nudged Amy gently in the hip.

"Yeah."

"Well take a seat, would you like a drink?"

"I'll take a water," Phil replied instantly.

"You don't want anything stronger?" Maria asked.

"Nah, I'm straight edge. I don't drink alcohol."

"Oh okay, water it is then. You don't mind if we have alcohol do you?"

"Go for it just because I don't drink I'm not going to start lecturing you on the evils of alcohol, don't worry."

Maria smiled, "Oh I didn't think that. Just didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

"That's sweet but there's really no need. I don't stop Amy from drinking, it's just not for me."

"Any particular reason for that dude?" Jeff asked.

"My father was an alcoholic. He's in recovery now but that kind of thing might be hereditary so I decided at an early age to abstain from alcohol."

Jeff nodded, "Well that's cool."

"So, it's a water for Phil. Jeff is having a beer. Amy? What can I get for you?"

"Do you have soda? I don't feel like drinking tonight," Amy lied. In truth, she wanted to make sure she kept fully alert so nothing slipped out later on.

"Sure, I have some diet coke in the fridge. Is that okay?"

"Perfect. Thanks."

"No problem. I'm just going to grab those and check on the food. I made pasta and lots of it so I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving," Phil replied instantly.

Maria smiled, "Glad to hear it." She headed out of the room towards the kitchen.

There was an awkward silence until Maria returned from the kitchen carrying the drink on a tray. She handed out the drinks and joined the rest of them at the table.

"So, Jeff, how long have you and Maria been together?"

"Nearly eight years now."

"Wow, that's a long time. You never thought about getting married?"

Maria sighed softly, "Jeff doesn't believe in marriage."

"Oh me either dude," Phil said before he could stop himself. A swift kick under the table from Amy helped him to realise his mistake, "Until I met Amy, of course."

Amy shook his head, "He's just messing with ya."

Phil frowned, "It's actually the truth. I'm a firm believer in if it's ain't broke, don't fix it. Until I met Amy, marriage just wasn't on my agenda, period."

Maria beamed, "Oh that's so romantic. Isn't that romantic, Jeff?"

Jeff smiled at his girlfriend's behaviour, "Mia, is just a sucker for romance, aren't ya, darling?"

"I am," the redhead admitted, totally missing the death glare that Amy was currently shooting at her "husband."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you continue to like the story.**

Chapter 4

Phil had managed to escape further questioning for the time being as Maria had retreated to the kitchen to fetch the food a few minutes later. But now, some thirty minutes later he was beginning to come under pressure again as the food had been eaten and Maria seemed to want to know every single detail of his relationship with Amy.

The four were now seated in the living room. Amy and Phil were on one couch, while Maria and Jeff occupied the other.

"So, Phil, how did you and Amy meet?"

"That's actually a funny story," Phil replied.

Maria waited for him to continue but when it became obvious that he wasn't going to, she decided to ask, "Aren't you going to tell us then?"

Phil laughed and shook his head, "No."

Amy slapped him playfully on the arm, "He's just messing with you again."

The dark haired man frowned, "No, I'm not. I can't … Argh!" He doubled over.

"Are you okay, dude?" Jeff asked.

"Pains …"

Maria looked horrified, "Oh my god. I didn't poison you, did I?"

"Noo," Phil denied instantly. "I wasn't feeling too good before I got here. I should have said something sooner. Argh!"

Amy rolled her eyes, "He's a bit of a drama queen when he's not feeling well."

"Like you'd know," Phil muttered only loud enough for Amy to hear. "I think I should go and lie down." He stood up slowly, "It's been great, honestly. We'll have to do this again some time."

"Sorry about this Maria," Amy apologised.

"No, don't apologise. I hope you feel better soon, Phil."

Phil gave her a weak smile, "I'm sure I'll be better by the morning. I probably just need to take a shit … And that was way too much information, wasn't it?"

Maria nodded, "Kinda, yeah."

Deciding she'd heard enough, Amy grabbed hold of his arm, "Come on you, let's get you home. Thanks Maria, it's been great. We should do this again some time."

"Sounds good," Jeff agreed.

Amy pulled Phil, who was still slightly doubled over out of Maria and Jeff's house. Maria followed them to the door.

"Are you sure you're going to be alright?"

"I'll be fine, honestly," Phil replied.

Maria stayed outside until Amy and Phil walked inside their house. She stepped back and closed the door. "I really hope he's gonna be okay."

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Jeff scratched the back of his head, "Actually, I'm pretty sure he was faking the whole thing."

Maria made a face, "But why would he do that?"

"Well, darling, you were kind of giving him the third degree about him and Amy. And, well … They are newly weds, did you see the way they were looking at each other? All that sexual tension?" Jeff grinned, "I'm sure they are getting it on right now."

The redhead raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

Jeff nodded, "Oh yeah."

Maria rejoined him on the couch, "Well that's a relief. I really thought I'd poisoned him for a moment. You're feeling okay aren't you?"

A small smirk made its way onto Jeff's face, "Now that you mention it, I am feeling a little warm. I think I might need a visit from Nurse Kanellis."

Maria moved closer to him, "Oh really? Well …" She reached over and kissed his cheek, "I think that can be arranged."

Meanwhile, once they had made it back to their own house, Phil had instantly stood up straight and shrugged Amy's arm off him.

"Okay, so I think you should go and lie down in the master bedroom. At least you'll be near the bathroom if you do vomit."

Phil made a face, "I'm not going to vomit. I'm fine."

"What the hell was that then?"

Phil shrugged, "I didn't know what else to do. My mind went totally blank and I couldn't remember the fucking how we met story."

"So you faked illness?"

"Yeah, I had to do something. Don't tell me you were actually worried?"

"Of course not."

Phil smirked, "Are you sure about that? You looked pretty worried."

Amy rolled her eyes again, "Whatever. I can't believe you faked illness."

"Oh come on, it's was genius."

The raven haired woman sighed heavily, "If that's your idea of genius, I'm a little worried about you, quite frankly."

"Whatever, I don't really care what you think. You're here to protect me, not to be my best friend," Phil said bitterly.

"And I can't tell you how glad I am about that."

Phil made a face and walked over towards the couch, "Hey, have you seen Grimlock?"

"Who's Grimlock?"

"My ipod. I could of sworn I left it on the couch."

The protection officer, "You did I moved it when you went upstairs to get changed."

Phil rolled his eyes, "Well in future, I'd appreciate it, if you don't touch my stuff."

"And I'd appreciate it, if you didn't leave your stuff just lying around the place."

"Sorry, Mom," Phil replied sarcastically.

"Grow up."

The dark haired man shook his head slightly, "So where's Grimlock?"

Amy placed her hands on her hips, "And just why should I tell you?"

Phil laughed, "And you just told me to grow up? Really, Amy, do the words pot, kettle, black mean anything to you?"

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was totally unprofessional of me. Your ipod is upstairs in the master bedroom."

Phil seemed slightly taken aback by Amy's last words but didn't mention anything about it, "Thanks, I'm gonna go to bed."

"But it's still early."

"Well, sleeping is better than standing here and arguing with you, don't you think?"

"I guess."

"I'll see you in the morning then."

"More like an hour or so."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means I'll be coming to bed in an hour," Amy replied.

Phil placed his hands on his hips, "Are you coming to tuck me in or something?"

"No, we have to share a room, unfortunately. Why do you think the master bedroom has twin beds?"

Phil shrugged, "Can't say I'd really noticed."

"Typical, but yeah for your protection I have to stay with you at night."

"This is fucking ridiculous. We already moved across the country."

Amy sighed, "I understand that and I'm not happy about it either but it's my job and you're just gonna have to suck it up."

"Man, this sucks so much," were Phil's final words to the raven haired woman before he stomped off up the stairs.

"Couldn't agree with your more," Amy muttered once he was out of earshot. She thought about calling Randy again but decided against it. The last thing she needed was her best friend giving her a hard time about what a mess she was making with this assignment.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 5

Amy had only lasted ten minutes alone downstairs before she decided she was going to take a shower and call it a night. She was pretty tired from the flight and then the drive from the airport. As she approached the bedroom, she was silently hoping that Phil would already be asleep. However as she opened the door she instantly realised that was not the case as he was lying down in one of the beds reading.

"What are you doing?" Amy asked.

"I'm watching television," he replied sarcastically. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

The raven haired woman rolled her eyes, "I'd say you're being a jerk but that's just my personal opinion."

Phil looked up from the folder he was reading, "Ask a dumb question and you'll get a dumb answer. Honestly, Amy. I ask again, what does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well obviously you're reading but what is it?"

The dark haired man sighed, "Not that's it's any of your business but I'm reading up on our bullshit back story. My mind went totally blank when Maria was asking me twenty questions. And you were no help."

Amy made a face, "Don't blame me because you can't remember the story."

"I wouldn't dream of it. Fuck this, I'm going to sleep." With that he threw the folder on the floor and flicked the light switch by the side of his bed off, plunging the room into complete darkness.

"Turn the light back on," Amy commanded, "I can't see anything."

Phil laughed, "You mean you don't carry night vision goggles in your pocket for just such an occasion? I'm shocked."

"Stop being a jackass and turn on the light now. If I hurt myself because of you, I will make you pay."

"But you're supposed to be protecting me not making me pay. Isn't it against your moral code or something?"

"Turn the light back on and you won't have to find out."

Phil switched the light back on, "There you go. Are you happy now?"

"Not really but it's better than nothing. I'm going to take a shower."

He raised an eyebrow, "Oh really? Do you want me to come and scrub your back?"

"There's more chance of hell freezing over before you and me will be showering together," Amy replied matter-of-factly.

Phil shrugged, "Offers always there."

Amy made a face and then walked over to the chest of drawers in the corner. She opened the second drawer and grabbed a black and red tank top and matching boy shorts from the top of the pile of clothes. Without saying a word she marched into the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Some thirty minutes later when she returned from the bathroom, she was surprised to find the bed Phil was previously laying in empty, with the covers half hanging of it and her "husband" now lying in the other bed. "Why are you in my bed?"

"It's my bed now. I decided I didn't like the other one. It's all lumpy and shit."

"Wow, you're such a gentleman. Do you know that?"

"I don't know why you're complaining. Isn't this all part of your job?"

"Taking shit from the person I'm supposed to be protecting is not part of the job description," Amy replied hotly. She approached the bed and started to replace the covers.

"Well you could always slap me. Isn't that what you wanted to do, earlier?"

Amy placed her hands on her hips, "How do you know about that?"

"I heard you on the phone talking to your boyfriend," Phil admitted.

"Not that it's any of your business but Randy isn't my boyfriend. He's my best friend. He's also my co-worker so it wouldn't be very professional to get involved with him."

"You can't help who you fall in love with."

"I can and I'm not in love with Randy. And I have no idea why we are even having this conversation. I thought you were tired?"

"I am. You're the one who keeps asking me stuff." Phil rolled over to face the window, effectively turning his back on her.

"Whatever." Amy got into the bed and flicked the light off. "Goodnight." Phil didn't answer. "You're so rude." But he still didn't answer.

Despite Phil's protests that the bed was lumpy, Amy awoke the next morning feeling very refreshed. The raven haired woman must have been even more tired than she had originally thought as she'd slept right though to seven am. She turned over in the bed, expecting to find Phil still asleep but the bed was empty. She sat up quickly and looked over to the bathroom door which was wide open, indicting that he wasn't in there. Amy got out of bed and headed out of the room. Within second she was racing down the stairs and walking towards the kitchen. Once inside she found Phil looking inside the fridge.

Upon hearing her approach he turned around, "Where's the fire?"

"What?"

"Where's the fire?" Phil repeated. "I heard you come down the stairs like a rocket."

"I just woke up and found your bed empty."

The dark hair man smirked, "Don't tell me, you were worried about me? I'm fine. Just getting ready to go for a run, actually."

"I don't think so, buddy. Until everything is settles down. You're not going anywhere without me."

Phil rolled his eyes, "It's seven am. That's far too early for the bad guys to be out of bed. I'll be fine."

"And like I said, you're not going anywhere without me."

"I'm going for a run whether you like it or not."

"Then I guess I'm coming with you."

Phil looked her up and down, "Dressed like that?"

"Of course not, I just need to get changed, real quick."

The dark haired man folded his arms over his chest, "You're got five minutes or I will go without you."

"You go without me and we are seriously going to have a problem."

"You better be quick then."

Amy shook her head, "Don't get smart with me, Phil. I'm here to protect you." With that she turned on her heels and ran back out of the kitchen.

Exactly four minutes and forty five seconds later, she returned dress in a white top tank and navy blue sweat pants. "Okay I'm ready."

"Glad to hear it. Do you want some water? I'm taking a bottle with me."

"Sure."

Phil grabbed two bottles of water from the side and started to make his way out of the kitchen. As he passed the protection officer, he passed her one of the bottles.

"Thank you."

"Now you're sure you want to come with me?"

"No I don't want to come with you. I have to come with you, it's my job."

Phil opened the front door, "I have the keys in my pocket," he informed her as he walked outside.

"Okay."

Once the two were outside Phil stopped for a moment, "I usually walk for a couple of minutes to get warmed up and then I stop to do some stretches."

Amy nodded before she started to pull her hair into a high ponytail, "That's usually what everybody does."

"Not everybody." Phil started to walk down the driveway not waiting for Amy. "Just try and keep up."

"Don't worry about me, I was on the swim team at high school," Amy replied as she caught up with him.

Phil laughed, "What's that got to do with anything?"

"I'm just saying that I won't have a problem keeping up with you, that's all."

"We'll see, Amy. We'll see."


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Disclaimer: Still owning nothing over here.**

Chapter 6

Despite Amy's claim that she would have no problem keeping up with Phil, she did. He was in fact a very strong and fast paced runner and it had taken all Amy's efforts just to keep him in sight for the majority of the time. Now the two were on their cool down walk mere metres away from their house. Phil had removed the shirt he was wearing and that was now tied around his waist. He wiped the tiny beads of sweat from his forehead as he walked back to the house.

Amy hadn't said a word since they had started their cool down. She was deep in thought, thinking up an action plan for her to become fitter so she could keep up with Phil better. There was no way he was going to out run her like that again. As they reached Maria and Jeff's driveway they found the redhead and her boyfriend outside talking to two blonds. One male and one female.

"Hey guys," Maria called out cheerfully. "Been out for a run?"

Amy took a deep breath, "Uh huh."

Maria smiled, "I must say you're looking a lot better this morning, Phil. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling rad now, Maria. Thanks for asking."

"Taking a shit worked then?" Maria asked, trying to keep her face as straight as possible.

"What?" the blonde female asked.

"I'll explain in a second. Let me introduce you first, Chris and Trish, these are your new neighbours, Phil and Amy. Phil and Amy, this is Chris and Trish Irvine."

Phil nodded, "Hey, what's up?"

Amy smiled, "Nice to meet you guys."

"Likewise," Chris said, speaking for the first time. "Now, what's this about taking a shit?"

"Mia invited Phil and Amy to dinner last night. Half way through, just after the food, the dude starts having stomach pains. He had to leave. Maria, here thought she'd poisoned him," Jeff explained. "I, on the other hand think he was faking the whole thing."

Amy made a face, "Why would you think that?"

Jeff shrugged, "I just figured it was your first night in your new house."

"What's that got to do with anything?" Phil asked.

"Well I thought you'd be getting it on," Jeff replied matter-of-factly.

A huge smile made its way onto Phil face, "Well, actually now that you mention that …" He couldn't continue as Amy had clamped her hand over his mouth.

"I'm sure, nobody wants to hear what you were about to say."

Phil shrugged her hand from his mouth and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her back close into his stomach, "Actually, all I was going to say was that we did have a few games in the bedroom last night."

Chris grinned, "Oh really?"

Trish elbowed her husband in the ribs, "Don't be such a pervert."

"Ow!" The blond man rubbed the spot where his wife's elbow had dug in him, "I didn't do anything."

Trish rolled her eyes, "No but thinking like that is what got me into this situation in the first place," she said, pointing down to her very pregnant belly.

Amy laughed, "I was going to ask, how far along are you?"

"Almost eight months. It's twins too, that's why I'm so big."

"Congrats,"

"Thanks. I can't wait," Chris replied.

"Well duh, that's because you've already done your work. I still have to do the hard part, you know, the actually birth. Can't say I'm really looking forward to that."

Phil cringed, "Can't say I blame you there."

"Me either," Jeff agreed.

Maria rolled her eyes," Trust you to agree, Nero."

Jeff made a face, "What did I do?"

The redhead playfully slapped him on the arm, "I'm not sure yet but I'll think of something."

"Anyways, I stink so I'm gonna go grab a shower." He leaned down and whisper in Amy's ear, "Care to join me?" After receiving only another death glare in reply he turned his attention back to the others, "It was nice to meet you guys."

"You too, Phil," Trish replied.

Amy smiled as she shrugged herself out of Phil's embrace, "I'm gonna go get something to eat. I'm starving."

Phil grinned, "That's just her excuse. She's going to join me in the shower."

"Noooo … Um, I mean maybe." Amy felt herself blushing, "Ignore this one. He likes to share too much."

Maria giggled, "Kinda noticed."

"Oh yeah, I'd forgotten about that."

"We haven't."

"I'll grow on ya."

"Like a fungus," Amy replied.

Phil laughed, "Are you comparing me to a fungus, baby? That's so sweet. Come on." He took hold of the raven haired women's hair and led her towards the house.

Trish waited until they had disappeared inside before she spoke again, "She seems nice. He's a little creepy."

"Nothing wrong with being a little creepy," Chris replied. "I like him."

"Me too," Jeff put in.

Inside the house, Phil had immediately let go of Amy's hand as soon as the door was closed behind them. "Well, I'm gonna take a shower."

Amy placed her hands on her hips, "What the hell was that?"

"What?"

"That whole, she's gonna join me in the shower, bullshit? I already told you, never gonna happen."

"I was just playing the character from the story fucking story. You know, your husband. You don't seriously think I want to take a shower with you, do you?"

The protection officer scowled, "Of course not. I just wish you would stop with saying it all the time. The visual is not pleasant."

Phil grinned, "Then I think you need your eyes testing. I'm gonna take that shower unless you want to bitch at me some more first?"

"Whatever. I'm here to protect you. You'd do well to remember that."

"How could I forget?" Phil replied sarcastically. He turned and started to walk up the stairs.

"Jerk," Amy muttered. As she headed towards the kitchen her cell phone started to ring in her sweat pant pocket. Quickly she pulled it out, checked the caller id and answered, "Hello?"

"Good morning, Sunshine. I didn't wake you did I?"

"God no, I've been up for hours. I've just got back from a run."

Randy Orton started to laugh, "Since when do you run?"

"I don't but he does and since I can't leave him alone, I have to run too."

"You sound grouchy. Have you had your morning coffee yet?"

"No, not yet," Amy admitted. "I'm just on my way to the kitchen now. I need something. This guy is driving me crazy."

"Don't tell me you can't handle him?"

"Oh, I can handle him, don't worry," Amy replied.

Randy laughed, "I almost feel sorry for the guy."

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing, honest."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"I've no idea, Ames."

"How did I know you were going to say that?"

"Are you calling me predictable?" Randy asked.

"Maybe … Randy?"

"Yeah?"

"I miss you."

"Okay, seriously, are you okay? I'm starting to get worried."

Amy shrugged even though Randy couldn't see her, "I'm fine, Orton. Nothing for you to worry your pretty little head over."

"Glad to hear it, Dumas."

"I gotta go, I talk to you later. Thanks for calling."

"No problem."

Amy hung up the phone and finally made it into the kitchen to make her much needed cup of coffee.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy the story.**

Chapter 7

Since he returned from the shower, Phil had been extremely quiet and he had remained so over lunch, only speaking when absolutely necessary. Amy had thought about asking him what was wrong but had decided against it. Phil was a grown man, if he had a problem he was more than capable of telling her what it was and if he didn't then he clearly didn't want to. Now the two were sat at opposite ends of the couch. The television was on but neither of them were paying much attention to it.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Phil jumped up. Amy frowned at his action and got up herself, "What do you think you're doing?"

"Um … I'm gonna get the door."

The protection officer shook her head, "I don't think so. We don't know who it is."

"What? So I can't answer the door unless we know in advance who it is? That's fucking stupid. I'm getting the door."

Amy grabbed his arm, "And I said you're not. Sit your ass back on the couch and I'll get the door."

"You've got to be fucking kidding me?"

Amy rolled her eyes, "Have you got a death wish or something? Just do what I tell you for once."

Phil huffed, "Fine, you get the fucking door. See if I care." He slumped back down on the couch, folded his arms across his chest and put his feet up on the coffee table.

"Oh grow up," Amy muttered as she finally went to answer the door. She opened it up to find Maria standing there, "Oh hi Maria."

Maria smiled, "Hey Amy, I wasn't sure if you were gonna answer or not. I'm not interrupting anything am I?"

"No," Amy replied instantly, "What can I do for you?"

Maria placed her hands in the front pockets of her jeans, "I was hoping you could do me a huge favour. Can I come in?"

"Sure." Amy stood back and allowed the redhead access to the room.

"Hi Phil."

"Maria." Phil nodded his head slightly as Maria entered the living room closely followed by Amy.

"I was wondering if you guys could do me a huge favour?"

"What's that?" the dark haired man asked.

"Me and Jeff are going bowling tonight and we were supposed to be going with Chris and Trish but they can't make it because the doctor has basically told Trish she can't do anything physical. So I was hoping that you would come instead. I'm sorry it's such short notice but Trish only told me this morning."

"Actually, we …"

Phil smirked, "We'd love to. Me and Ames love bowling. Don't we baby?"

"But we have that thing we have to do tonight," Amy lied.

"That?" He waved off her suggestion of other plans, "That can wait, we can do that anytime. Maria's is in a fix and it's our neighbourly duty to help her out." He turned his attention back to Maria, "Do you need us to drive so that you and Jeff can drink?"

Maria clapped her hands together excitedly, "That would be awesome. Thanks Phil."

"Don't mention it. What time do you want us to pick you up?"

"Around seven. We were planning on getting something to eat first. Does that sound good?"

"Sound rad to me. I can't wait."

"Great, I'm so happy that you're coming. I have to go tell Jeff so I'll see you guys, later. Thanks." She started to walk back towards the front door.

"Don't mention it. Amy will see you out."

Amy duly followed Maria to the door and closed it behind her. Once Maria had left Amy quickly returned the living room, "Why the hell did you say yes for?"

Phil frowned, "Why not? I love bowling and I haven't been in forever."

The raven haired woman sat down on the couch and faced her "husband", "Because you're supposed to be keeping a low profile."

"Does that mean I can't do anything? Jesus, Amy, it's only bowling. It's not like I'm going to be all over the news or something. You need to take a chill pill and relax. Who knows, maybe you'll even enjoy it."

"I highly doubt that. It's bad enough spending time with you alone without having to play the loving wife in front of our neighbours and the rest of the world," Amy admitted.

Phil rolled his eyes, "Yeah … because you're so easy to live with. " He got up from the couch again.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to take a nap. Anything to get you off my case."

"Whatever," Amy muttered.

Phil just shook his head as he marched off upstairs, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

"Wow, that was mature."

A few hours later, Amy was sat in the car, waiting for Phil to return with Maria and Jeff. She didn't have to wait long as he returned only a couple of minutes later with their neighbours in tow. Phil got into the passenger seat while Maria and Jeff climbed into the back.

"Hi Amy," Maria said cheerfully. "Thanks again for coming with us."

Amy faked a smile, "No problem."

"I'm kind of surprised you're driving, "Jeff admitted. "I was hoping that you'd join us in a few drinks and Phil would be driving."

"Sorry, no can do," Amy replied. "Phil can't drive a stick," she added with a smirk.

"Which is exactly why we have a god damn stick," Phil muttered only loud enough for Amy to hear.

"What was that?" Maria asked.

"Nothing, we're looking around for another car, this one is only temporary."

Amy laughed, "That's what he thinks."

"That's enough about cars, who's ready for some bowling?" Phil yelled out.

Maria giggled, "You by the sounds of things."

"Yeah, I'm ready to kick everyone's ass."

"Now, dear, don't get cocky. For all you know, Maria and Jeff could be bowling champions," Amy replied sarcastically.

Phil nodded, "They could be … But you're not right?"

"Well no," Maria admitted immediately.

Jeff frowned, "What did you say that for?"

Maria smacked her boyfriend playfully on the arm, "We're not, I'm not going to lie about it so you can cut out the macho bullshit right now."

Phil grinned, "That told you, dude."

Jeff laughed, "Didn't it just."

Everybody including Amy started to laugh. Maybe going bowling wasn't going to be such a bad idea after all.


	8. Chapter 8

**Thanks for the reviews. There may be a delay with the next chapter because I haven't finished it yet. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Chapter 8

After the food had been taken care of the four found themselves in the bowling alley, Phil was currently sat at the console inputting everybody's name. So far, he had entered, Jeff, Maria and Amy's name and he had just put in Punk for his own.

Maria frowned, "Punk? Why Punk?"

Phil smirked, "It's one of my many nicknames … It's also my bowling name."

The redhead giggled, "Okay then, Punk."

"Okay, Jeff, you're up," Phil said as he stepped away from the console. It had been decided that the first of the three games would be played as individuals. The next would be a battle of the sexes and the final game would pit the couples against each other.

Jeff grabbed his chosen ball from the rack and stepped up to bowl. He knocked eight pins down with his first shot.

"Great shot, baby," Maria encouraged.

Jeff smiled before he took his second shot, only knocking down one of the remaining pins. Maria was next; she managed to get eight as her overall total from the two shots. Amy who had been more or less silent since they had arrived had scored a spare and was currently leading as Phil stepped up to bowl. He grinned at the raven haired woman before he turned around and took his first shot. The bowl was straight down the gutter.

"Gutterball," Maria shouted out.

"Damn it, "Phil muttered.

"Unlucky," Amy said with a smirk.

Phil rolled his eyes and picked out a different ball to take his next shot. However, it made no difference as just like his first shot, the ball ended up in the gutter resulting in a zero for his first score.

"Dude, what happened?" Jeff asked.

The dark haired man shrugged, "I dunno. I'm usually better than this."

"That wouldn't be hard, that was terrible. I had no idea you were this bad," Amy admitted.

"Wait a minute, you've never seen him bowl before? I thought you love bowling?" Maria asked.

"We do," Phil replied, "We've just never been bowling together. I usually go with the guys. Ames goes with her friends.

"Oh … okay. Come on Jeff. No wait, we aren't a team in this are we? Boo, throw a gutterball."

Amy laughed whilst Phil shook his head. Despite his girlfriend's encouragement to get a zero, Jeff had managed to pick up a spare overall on his second go. Maria had scored nine and Amy had also scored nine. It was Phil's go again and much like his first attempt, he got zero again.

As he made his way back to the side, Amy smiled at him, "Unlucky."

"Yeah, I guess I'm having a bad day."

"Such a shame," Amy said sarcastically.

On the next go, Jeff got six, Maria scored eight and Amy got nine. It was Phil's turn again. As he stood to get the ball, he turned his attention to Amy, "Make sure you're watching this one."

"Don't worry, I'm hoping you actually hit at least one pin this time."

Phil picked up the ball and threw it perfectly straight down the lane, getting the first strike of the game.

"Wow, go Punk," Maria cheered.

"Son of a bitch," Amy muttered suddenly realising that Phil had been playing badly on purpose, "He's been sandbagging."

"You only just figured that out?" Phil asked as he sat next to his "wife".

"Why would you do that?"

"Because … It's fun." He kissed her cheek and then grinned at her.

Amy scowled at him but said nothing as Maria was in earshot. Phil had ended up winning the first game despite him sandbagging for the first two turns. He had Jeff had been victorious in the battle of the sexes and now it was time for the couples game. Jeff who had been doing fairly well up until this point was now feeling a little worst for wear after having a few beers threw a gutterball for his final bowl of the game. Maria burst out laughing.

Jeff frowned, "Mia, why are you laughing? We're a team, remember?"

The redhead immediately stopped laughing, "Oh shit, I forgot. Jeff, that was a shitty shot."

"Thanks for the support, darling."

Maria sighed, "I guess this means we lost."

"We already lost. Phil and Amy are just too good."

Amy smiled, "Even I didn't know how good Phil was."

Phil came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, bringing her in close to him. He kissed her cheek gently, "It's not the only thing I'm good at."

Amy turned around in his embrace to face him, her mouth slightly open as a visual of a naked Phil having sex with her filled her brain.

"Amy? Come back to me babe," Phil said.

"Huh?"

"Are you okay? You kind of spaced out on me for a second."

The protection officer shook her head, "I'm fine, just thinking that's all."

"Well, seeing as we lost the final game, I guess we should leave now. Are you guys good to go?" Maria asked.

"Yup, I think so," Amy replied.

The four started to walk towards the exit but before they reach the door, Phil grabbed Amy, pulled her close to him and started to kiss her passionately. After about a minute he stopped, "Sorry about that, I just saw somebody I know ... Oh wait, it wasn't him." He scratched the back of his head. "I really thought it was him for a second. My bad."

The raven haired woman frowned at her "husband", "Next time, make sure it's him before you grope me."

Phil smirked, "Oh come on you enjoyed it. Why don't you just admit it?"

"I will do no such thing."

He took her hand and led her off towards Maria and Jeff who had stopped a little way ahead of them when they realised that Phil and Amy had stopped. "Denial is such an ugly thing."

"Good thing I'm not in denial then."

"You keep telling yourself that sweetheart."

"Don't call me sweetheart."

Phil laughed, "Okay, sweetheart."

"Jerk," Amy muttered as the four made their way into the parking lot.


	9. Chapter 9

**Sorry for the delay in the update. Thanks for the reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please R & R.**

Chapter 9

The car journey home had consisted on non stop laughter from the moment they had left the bowling alley parking lot to when they pulled up in Phil and Amy's driveway. Most of the laughter was direct at Jeff who was too drunk to care. Before the car had come to a complete stop, Jeff had decided he was going to get out and had opened the door, only to fall out when Amy hit the brakes sharply.

"Looks like we lost Jeff," Phil said, laughing.

"Oh shit," Maria cried out, "Jeff? Are you okay?"

"I'm down," Jeff whined and then burst out laughing.

Amy jumped out of the car and rushed to Jeff's side, "Oh my god, Jeff. Are you okay?"

The green eyed man looked up at her, "I'm good." He gave her a thumps up to prove his point.

"Do you need a hand getting up?"

"Nah, I think I can manage." He started to get up from the floor but lost his balance half way up. On insist he grabbed hold of Amy pulling her on top of him.

By this time, Phil and Maria were also out of the car so when Amy looked up from her new position on the floor she found her "husband" standing there with his hands on his hips looking less than amused. "Don't just stand there, help me up."

"I don't know if I should," Phil replied, his expression softening slightly, "Jeff, dude, the only guy who gropes my wife is me. I'd appreciate you keeping your hands to yourself."

Amy rolled her eyes, "He wasn't groping me, you idiot."

Jeff smiled widely, "Well, actually I was trying to."

"Jeffrey Nero Hardy! You better be joking," the redhead complained in mock anger.

"Don't worry darling, I only have eyes for you."

"That's okay then."

After deciding that Phil clearly wasn't going to help her up off the floor, the raven haired woman got herself up and dusted down the jeans she was wearing, "Thanks for the help, babe."

"You're welcome," Phil replied, not missing a beat.

Amy huffed, "I was being sarcastic seeing as you didn't do a damn thing."

Phil nodded, "Yeah, I did actually notice that but you know how much I love sarcasm."

Maria seemed to sense that things were starting to get a little bit tense, "I think we should get home now, Jeffers. You've had enough excitement for one night." She turned her attention to Amy, "Thanks for coming and even though you kicked our asses at bowling I had a great time."

"We gotta do it again sometime," Phil added.

Amy gave Maria a thin smile but said nothing. Up until Phil had kissed her in the bowling alley, she was having a good time but since then, things had seemingly gone downhill for her.

Jeff finally got up from the floor, "Goodnight," he yelled out as he started to stagger down the driveway.

Maria rolled her eyes, "Thanks for waiting for me, Jeff." She followed her boyfriend, catching up with him quickly. "Goodnight, guys."

"Night," Phil replied before he started to make his way towards his own house.

Amy turned around and pressed the lock button on her control pad. The car blinkers flashed as the alarm was engaged. "Bye," she called out to her neighbours before she headed up to the front door where Phil was waiting for her. She put the key in the door and turned it. She'd barely got the door open when Phil pushed past her. "Rude, much," she muttered as she stepped inside.

"Bite me," Phil muttered in reply.

Amy closed the door behind her, locked it and then placed her hands on her hips, "Excuse me?"

"Are you deaf all of a sudden? I know you heard me."

"You're right, I did. I was hoping I'd heard wrong. What did I do now?"

Phil rolled his eyes dramatically, "It's what you didn't do."

"I don't understand."

"Out there with Jeff."

Amy was perplexed. She had no idea what had suddenly made Phil so hot at her, "Am I supposed to know what that means because I'm having a little trouble. Don't tell me you're jealous because Jeff pulled me on top of him?"

The dark haired man shook his head in disgust, "How the hell are you a protection officer? You're fucking clueless."

"And you're asking for a slap," Amy shot back instantly.

"That's real professional, Amy. Real professional."

"Fuck off," the raven haired woman muttered under her breath, just loud enough so Phil would hear her. He was right; she was acting very unprofessional at this moment in time. Somehow, after only knowing her a few days he had already figured out how to push her buttons.

"I'd gladly fuck off but I don't think your boss would like that very much seeing as you're supposed to be protecting me but then again maybe I should just disappear ..." a smirk formed on his face as he trailed off.

"Don't even think about it unless you want to die. Do I have to remind you that the people who are after you aren't playing?"

Phil rolled his eyes, "I wouldn't be here in the first place if I thought that. I don't know why I'm even bothering talking to you right now. I'm going to bed."

"Fine by me," Amy replied as she stormed off into the kitchen. Once in the safety of the new room, the protection officer sighed heavily. Why the hell was he being such a difficult jerk? If she didn't know any better, Amy could have sworn that he was jealous. She shook her head, that couldn't be right. Deciding that she needed to talk to her best friend, Amy took out her cell phone and selected Randy's cell phone number from her phone book. There was a very slim chance that he would be sleeping but it was doubtful so Amy decided to risk it.

She was relieved when it was answered after only three rings. Her relief was short lived when she realised that is wasn't Randy who answered his phone."

"Hello?" a female voice said.

"..."

"Ames? Is that you?"

"Yeah, Mickie, it's me."


End file.
